I will return to fussing over our house-buying venture. But first I want to fuss over something else entirely.
My wee first born babe – is now a big, hilarious, energetic 5-year-old. You know what that means: Kindergarten.
He is excited. A tiny bit nervous, but mostly excited to finally be a “schooler”. He’s gone to daycare since he was 16 months old, but the “schoolers”. Hoo boy. That’s a whole new level. He’s got a bigger backpack. He gets a new lunch box and takes a lunch for the first time. There is a bigger playground.
I am not really excited. Maybe a little. Mostly I am…reluctant. Apprehensive. Emotional. I’m a big mess. I’m telling myself it’s not really different than daycare, but if feels completely different!!!
It’s a total watershed moment. There’s no going back. It’s like, suddenly the first day of kindergarten is the first day of the rest of his life.
And everything they say is true. ALL of it. Perhaps the cliche I like best is that the days are long but the years are short. Because as trying as his infancy was (colic and reflux yo) and as much as I love sleeping though the night again…the last 5 years went really fast. I don’t want to go back exactly…but…it just feels like I didn’t properly embrace each moment. Each day. Snuggle him enough. And if the first 5 years are already gone…I know the next 5 will slip through my fingers like sand.
It’s just a little…I mean. Look. I know he’s not mine-mine. Never was. I know we only get our kids to borrow for a little while. To support and love and then send out into the world. He’s his own person. But…man. I guess I just need to do better each day. Seizing that moment to marvel, admire, and love them. And to stop yelling so damn much.
But you know. They can be so darn annoying.
In any case. To Kindergarten. Please don’t corrupt my baby. I love him and find him perfect just the way he is, thank you very much.